Tag: Forgiveness

06Feb

Rachael Denhollander: A Christian Witness

From the wreckage of the Dr. Nassar abuses, and the celebratory stories of justice finally achieved, one bright star for me was the courage and witness of Rachael Denhollander. Testimony that she gave in her victim statement has become widely circulated. Here is an excerpt:

In our early hearings. you brought your Bible into the courtroom and you have spoken of praying for forgiveness. And so it is on that basis that I appeal to you. If you have read the Bible you carry, you know the definition of sacrificial love portrayed is of God himself loving so sacrificially that he gave up everything to pay a penalty for the sin he did not commit. By his grace, I, too, choose to love this way.

You spoke of praying for forgiveness. But Larry, if you have read the Bible you carry, you know forgiveness does not come from doing good things, as if good deeds can erase what you have done. It comes from repentance which requires facing and acknowledging the truth about what you have done in all of its utter depravity and horror without mitigation, without excuse, without acting as if good deeds can erase what you have seen this courtroom today.

If the Bible you carry says it is better for a stone to be thrown around your neck and you throw into a lake than for you to make even one child stumble. And you have damaged hundreds.
The Bible you speak carries a final judgment where all of God’s wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be there for you.
I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me — though I extend that to you as well.

Throughout this process I have clung to a quote by CS Lewis where he says,

“My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of unjust and just? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

Larry, I can call what you did evil and wicked because it was, and I know it was evil, and wicked, because the straight line exists. The straight line is not measured based on your perception or anyone else’s perception, and this means, I can speak the truth about my abuse without minimization or mitigation and I can call it evil because I know what goodness is.

And this is why I pity you, because when a person loses the ability to define good and evil, when they cannot define evil, they can no longer define and enjoy what is truly good. When a person can harm another human being, especially a child, without true guilt, they have lost the ability to truly love.

Larry, you have shut yourself off from every truly beautiful and good thing in this world, that could have, and should have brought you joy and fulfillment. And I pity you for it. You could have had everything you pretended to be. Every woman who stood up here truly loved you as an innocent child. Real genuine love for you and it did not satisfy.

I have experienced the soul satisfying joy of a marriage built on sacrificial love, and safety, and tenderness, and care. I have experienced true intimacy in its deepest joy’s and it is beautiful and sacred and glorious and that is a joy you have cut yourself off from ever experiencing and I pity you for it.

You can read the entire statement at CNN.

In a followup article by Christianity Today, she was asked, “Was there a particular Bible verse or passage that you felt spoke to your situation?”

One was from John 6, where Jesus asks Peter, “Do you want to leave too?” Peter says, “Where else would I go, Lord? You have the words of life.” There was a point in my faith where I had to simply cling to the fact that although I didn’t understand or have the answers, I knew that God was good and that he was love. Whatever else I didn’t understand couldn’t be a contradiction to that.

Beyond that, it was learning more about God’s justice, that contrast between darkness and light, and how to properly interpret God’s sovereignty and Bible verses that command us to give thanks or reveal God’s promises of bringing goodness out of evil. When those verses are interpreted properly they are glorious and beautiful truths. More often than not, particularly in the case of sexual assault, they’re really used to mitigate and to minimize—almost as if the victim handles it “properly,” if the victim just forgives, all of the feelings are going to go away. That’s not true and that’s not what Scripture teaches.

12Feb

Who Can Banish Our Trogglehumpers?

One of the more charming movies I’ve recently seen is last year’s “BFG”, directed by Steven Spielberg. It tells the story of the magical adventure of an orphan girl named Sophie, who befriends a big friendly giant (“B.F.G.”).

A moment that caught my interest occurred midway through the film. Sophie is taken to a mystical tree where dreams are born. These primordial dreams float around like colored fireflies, and can be caught. Most of the dreams are happy, or silly. However, Sophie learns that not all dreams are benign. She catches a glowing red dream and the B.F.G. solemnly warns her to leave that one be, for it is a Trogglehumper. The particular dream that Sophie found was summarized thus:

“Look what you has done. There be no forgiveness.”

Now this is downright biblical. It encapsulates a sense of shame that many individuals feel, and can’t easily shake. On an even deeper level, this Trogglehumper represents the collective nightmare of fallen Humanity.

Who can free us from such a Trogglehumper? The Christian answer is that God can give us a new dream, a better dream, one whose narrative is “Here be forgiveness; here be love.”

To such a wonderful change in the narrative, our response echoes King David’s song of praise (recorded in Psalm 103):

Praise the Lord, O my soul
and all that is within me praise his holy Name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul
and forget not all his benefits;
Who forgiveth all thy sin
and healeth all thine infirmities;
Who saveth thy life from destruction
and crowneth thee with mercy and loving-kindness

24Dec

“We Will Pray For Your Peace” Says Gatlinburg Fire Victim

A man who lost his home, whose wife and two daughters were killed in the Gatlnburg, TN wildfires, offered a message of forgiveness to the juveniles who lit the fires. Michael Reed wrote the following:

“We will pray for you. Every day. We will pray for your parents and your family members. Every day. We will pray for your peace. We will show you grace. Why? Because that’s what Jesus would do.”

(Read more at CNN.com).

23Oct

Ten Years Ago the Amish Reminded Us How to Forgive

Ten years ago, on an October day in Nickel Mines, PA, a man named Charles Roberts who was “angry at life and angry with God” according to accounts at the time, crept into a one room schoolhouse.  He took ten girls hostage, and then shot them, before killing himself.  Five of them died, and the rest were seriously injured.

Almost immediately, the devastated Amish community sought to forgive the deceased perpetrator, and to reach out with compassion to the family of Mr. Roberts.  As reported by NPR: “Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer’s family.”  The Amish later donated money to his widow and children.

In a further twist–like the old idea of “paying it forward”–that love and embrace has spread. Terri Roberts, the mother of Mr. Roberts, has in turn helped those whom her son victimized. She has become a part time caretaker of an Amish girl named Rosanna, who was neurologically devastated by a gunshot wound to the head.  (As reported in New York Daily News).

This “Amish grace” shocked the nation almost as much as the horrific crime out of which it manifested.  Though many still struggle at times, the Amish families were able to endure thanks to their strong community and the deep faith that permeates their day-to-day lives.   In this, they are exemplars to all of us.

20Apr

Victim Forgives Crooked Cop Who Framed Him

CBS News recently reported a story of faith and forgiveness, with a fascinating twist of fate. In 2005, in Benton Harbor, Michigan, Jameel McGee was arrested on false charges of drug dealing. He spent four years in jail before he was exonerated. While in prison, Jamal found God.

His arresting officer had his own “come to Jesus” moment (figuratively as well as literally). His misdeeds were discovered, he was fired, and he had to do his own stint of jail time for a year and a half. While in prison, he, too, became a Christian. Looking back on his former life he says, “I was the lowest of the low.”

Today, by chance (give or take a dose of divine intervention) they have found themselve working alongside each other at the same faith-based cafe. Jamal McGee confronted the former policeman, Andrew Collins, who apologized. Jamal McGee, who is vocal about his Christian faith, forgave Collins, and says that today they are very good friends.

Today they’re not only cordial, they’re friends. Such close friends, not long ago McGee actually told Collins he loved him.

“And I just started weeping because he doesn’t owe me that. I don’t deserve that,” Collins said.

You may read more at CBS.

There is also an article at Huffington Post.